There comes a time in every manโs life when they must stand up for themselves. For too long my voice has been suppressed on this site. You may be asking yourself, โWho is this guy?โ
Exactly.
When this โsiteโ was a real publicationโi.e. a PRINT MAGAZINE, I had the last word on each issue. Thatโs right; this guy youโve never heard wrote the final thing youโd read as you finished the latest issue of Pro Tool Reviews. But where have I been since they went 100% digital?
Ignored. Denied. Unheeded. Probably blocked on many email servers.
But that doesnโt mean I havenโt been busy. Behind the scenes, Iโve been working on the tool reviews you want. The ones you actually deserve. Sure, Pro Tool Reviews has tons of professionals working on their reviews. People who take the tools to actual job sites and try them out in real-world applications. These guys (and hopefully galsโdiversity is important!) are fantastic. As colleagues, I respect them for their writing and their commitment to giving other professionals the information they need to make informed buying decisions.
At the same time, theyโve got it all wrong.
Reviews for a More Nuanced Audience
Sure, some percentage of the visitors to this site are professionals. But surely many more are like meโcomfortable holding a hammer but not swinging it. Interested in owning a reciprocating saw but valuing their legs too much to deign to use it.
It is for them that it is important that my voice is heard.
Iโve been reviewing equipment for years now. Like a proper journalist, Iโve been writing them with a quill and inkpot on vellum. So far, none of my reviews have seen print and, because I send in the originals (like a professional), I have no copies to share with you. After an extensive search, however, I was able to procure some rough drafts of the conclusion paragraphs of a handful of reviews. I share them with you now. Please, let the editorial staff know how you feel about these reviews. Let them know that the loss of the full review is not only a personal tragedy for me but for all of you as well. Let them know you will no longer tolerate them suppressing this important voice in the tool review community. Together, we can force their hand. Together, we can stand up to their tyranny. Viva la resistance!
REAL Tool Reviews from The Tool Fool Stool (Excerpts)
Skil 20V Brushless Impact Wrench
TFS Conclusion
As Iโve stated in many other โbrushlessโ drill reviewsโNONE of them have brushes! The Skil 20V โBrushlessโ Impact Wrench is no exception. This is the worst type of marketing lingo designed to trick you into thinking their product is somehow superior to others. Itโs a meaningless metric when the reality is far more mundane: Any of these drills will work and none of them have brushes. Point to the brush on any drill. I dare you. Just do as I doโbuy the one that looks the coolest. If these companies would stop talking about these โbrushesโ and start adding chrome to their products, theyโd make a mint. Thatโs a Tool Fool Stool promise! Also of noteโthis drill makes a terrible hammer.
Makita HR3001CK Rotary Hammer
TFS Conclusion
The Milwaukee M18 Fuel SDS-Max Rotary Hammer is quite literally the worst hammer Iโve ever used. The head is far too large for all but the most comically large nails. The โanti-vibration designโ is a ludicrous claim as the thing jumps around like my kids after getting into the Halloween candy. It is so large that you practically have to put your materials on the ground. Maybe if youโve got the upper body strength of The Rock, you can use this to help you hang pictures. Completely impractical, comically large, unsuitable for use by childrenโthis one is a hard pass.
Milwaukee M18 FUEL Brad Nailer
TFS Conclusion
I know Iโve spent most of this review talking about it, but I need to mention it again here: The nails used by the Milwaukee M18 Fuel 18ga brad nailer are just too small. The dog house I built, while, in retrospect, of questionable design given I eyeballed all the measurements, fell apart basically as I built it. My child barely survived the fall from the tree house I built with this thing. And before you ask, I did try to use larger nails with it. I donโt know who this โBradโ is, but his nailer is complete junk.
BN Products Cutting Edge Saw
TFS Conclusion
Iโve used a lot of pencil sharpeners in my day, and the BN Production Cutting Edge Saw is by far the most powerful. Far too powerful for most pencils as it just slices them in half. While I regret that the specialty titanium pencils with the uranium-infused graphite cores did not arrive in time for this review, I feel confident that the BN Production Cutting Edge Saw would have sharpened them to perfection. Until I see it in action, however, I must reserve judgment.
Husqvarna K 760 Power Cutter Review
TFS Conclusion
As a frisbee thrower, the Husqvarna K 760 Power Cutter fails on nearly every metric. The holding mechanism for the frisbees is far too tight. When loosened, the frisbees rarely fly in the direction you intended. And letโs not get started (again) on the idiotic design of the frisbees: Sharp edges, far too thin, metal design (who thought that was a good idea?!?), and lack of lip make them nearly impossible (and honestly inadvisable) to catch. For the price (nearly a grand) I expected a lot more. Heck, I expected to be able to shoot frisbees to the moon. Not only is this one a pass, but I also suspect the government will be removing these from shelves before people start buying them for Christmas.
In case itโs not painfully obvious, The Tool Foolโs Stool is a work of humor and fiction. So take it with a grain of saltโฆor two.
